Desperado
by ASW8783
Summary: Songfic of The Eagle's 'Desperado'. Oneshot. Dean's POV. Just a little something of Dean while he drives down a lonely road at night, his brother asleep beside him.


**"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?  
You been out ridin' fences for so long now,  
Oh, you're a hard one, I know that you got your reasons,  
These things that are pleasin' you can hurt you somehow..."**

The night was rolling on... Just like it always had. Internal sound track blaring like a siren in his head. Dean, the silent solider...Daddy's main man. Emerald eyes seemed to settle on the sleeping passenger to his right. Sammy. His only form of solace left...Last piece of his broken spirit. It seemed to him, at least, that this was how his life was meant to be lived...Alone...Protecting Sammy...Nothing else mattered. He didn't have a family to raise, a woman to love and come home to when the nights were cold...All he had was the potential promise of freedom to kill and kill well. The highways started to blend, dotted lines becoming solid as he pushed that old impala over another Stateline. Those who knew Dean knew how shut off he was...Finding solace in the bottom of whiskey bottles and on top of frisky women who could only offer temporary warmth. Still, this was his life...And he lived it the best way he knew how. The whiskey was starting to lose its numbing gifts...the women's faces seemed to blur out and fade from one woman to the next...Names didn't matter...Just needed to feel warmth for a fleeting moment. Anything was better than the constant pain and replayed memories that seemed to fill his head...

**"Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy, she'll beat you if she's able.  
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.  
Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table."**

Sudden shift to the radio as that song came on...His song...Her song...their song. His mind drifted back to Cassie. Such a spark and personality he found in her. He would never admit it, but she was the one woman so far that he could have let close...He did...And got burned in the process...He couldn't honestly blame her...Hell, if he didn't live the life he did, he would have thought that was crazy. Shake of head and thoughts of her were returned to their burial chambers in his mind. Why, why couldn't he have a normal life? Apple pie...White picket fence...A son and daughter...Maybe even a dog...No, not him...Not Dean Winchester.

**"But you only want the ones you can't get.  
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger,  
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home,  
And freedom, oh freedom, well, that's just some people talkin'.  
Your prison is walkin' through this world all alone."**

He lived to protect his brother, now this deal, was his final act of devotion...the only way he could keep the promise he had made to himself and his father. Keep Sam Safe...Echoed in the channels of his mind. That was his mission...His drive to keep getting up in the morning. Still, he pressed on. Kept driving... The road was his freedom...Lack of hesitation...Will to survive. He went to the school of hard knocks and came out with a master in kicking ass and taking names...The true Winchester way. An offer made...was another offer turned down. Sam, he was not going to give up on the hopes that his brother would let him in...Hell, anything was an improvement in confidence at this point...He would give anything to be closer to his brother before he was to be forever taken from him.

**"Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime?  
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine,  
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day.  
You're losin' all your highs and lows,  
Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away?"**

_"I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life, this weight on my shoulders, man. I'm tired of it"_

Dean had chosen to let him in. Let Sam know just what was going on within that complex mind of his. Time had proven to be a master and Dean was tired of playing its bitch. A part of him, was ready for that hell hound to come a calling...It was his release...His tainted reward. He took slight comfort in being free from hunting…Bound to burn in a lake of fire…Not the most comforting of thoughts when it came down to it. Yet, Sam pushed them on. No time to be wasted wishing things were different. No time to express self pity...that wasn't Dean's way. Sam was Dean's outlet without having to actually having to say a word. It was an unspoken understanding that the two shared. Without the other, they each had a sense of something missing…And so, With Dean's last year ticking by…A secret vow to make it count was uttered from clenched jaws.

**"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?  
Come down from your fences, open the gate  
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you.  
You better let somebody love you,  
Let somebody love you.  
You better let somebody love you,  
before it's too late…"**

As they drove on, the sun had begun to rise. It painted the sky with beautiful colors which only seemed to inspire a spark of hope within the chest of the eldest Winchester. He had made a choice to let the world in. His fences down…He was raw and exposed. You can't be a stone forever. With Sam at his side, the impala carrying him, and the colt tucked behind him…Dean was able to breathe. It wasn't too late to let a softer side show…Not until the hell hounds had him by the legs. Silent recognition of what he needed to do before he left Sam alone…Alive…But never the less alone…He wouldn't be there to protect him forever. With his thoughts cleared he let the road take him…Take him to another job…another hotel…another chapter in the Winchester saga…


End file.
